so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
