Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
