I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
