I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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