Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
