I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
