his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
