If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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