hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
