I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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