so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
