Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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