Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize