I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it's like iHOP with fire
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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