Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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