i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
