I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
