$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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