And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
