Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
