i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I believe in your delicious
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
