ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
