i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
