I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
