There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I could fuck to npr.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
