How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize