I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
