You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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