i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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