Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
