i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
