Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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