Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this boner is exhausting
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
