I hate all girls vehemently.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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