Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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