i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
