I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
