i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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