Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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