That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize