I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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