Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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