I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
