Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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