Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
