i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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