What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
