its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead