you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.