I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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