He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize