And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
