I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize