It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
