I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
