my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
