Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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