Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
