You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Text me some of your sweat
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..