Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize