where am i from again
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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