Plan B is the new Plan A
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
