thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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