so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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